What The Apprentice Says About Blair's Britain

A response to Jonathan Freedland's article on The Guardian's Comment is Free blog.

'London, shown in loving aerial shots, never looked so good.'

During the opening shots and throughout the programme, the images of the Gherkin, Canary Wharf and other skyscrapers dominate the skyline - a priapic reminder of the dominance of man, capitalism and the drive of testosterone to create, build and generate profit.

Underneath the streets, miles of fibre-optic cables flow with voice and data traffic. Roads, tube and railway lines carry a continuous stream of people like veins carry blood.

Low tax and inflation rates coupled with a workforce that is flexible, mobile and non-unionised create the ideal conditions for seduction. Plenty of fluffing by politicians, PR companies and the media help to stiffen the economic pecker. The prospect of a profit has a Viagra-like effect. Meanwhile, skilled young people pour in to get a piece of the action and feel the throb of the nation while the economies of their home countries struggle on impotently.

Each percentage point, each pound of profit generated by the economy reproduce and reinforce the ability for all this activity to take place. Each thrust of the body of the City strives to reach the ecstasy of an economic high while it drains the energy of the Earth.


A post-coital smog often lingers over London, and while the City's members carry on their carnal activities again and again, the planet is drained and many of its inhabitants are left feeling unfulfilled. Some feel dirty, others feel shamed. Only one partner in the capitalist coitus is finding it pleasurable.

As fans of The Apprentice will know, interactions and relationships between people underpin how business is conducted and whether a venture succeeds. Inevitably, submissive and dominant personalities tend to shape the proceedings. For example, Syed and Ruth have dominant alpha personalities, while Tuan was more of a submissive character.

What we see reflected in the images of the City, in much of the culture of global big business and in capitalism is power and dominance, in the pursuit of profit above all else.

That a deeper, and perhaps more unsavoury analogy can be applied in the context of these issues sits uneasily with many of us.

One of two words might sum up this predicament to some extent. One is nymphomania: like a sex addict, we cannot get enough of capitalism, the lives it enables us to live and everything around us which it produces. The other, however, is more disturbing: rape.


'It's all about bucks kid, and the rest is just conversation.' - Gordon Gekko in Oliver Stone's film, Wall Street.